6 Family Roles in Addiction: Is Addiction Truly a “Family Disease”?

Addiction is said to be a family disease because it affects everyone around the person struggling with addiction. Friends, relatives, parents, spouses, children…drug and alcohol addiction takes a toll on them all.

In fact, substance use disorder (SUD) can be so powerful that it causes family members to assume certain roles. Many of these roles can be psychologically harmful, causing family members to pigeonhole themselves into roles that can make their lives miserable…and even putting them at risk of addiction.

Sounds serious? Believe us, it is. It’s why Cliffside Malibu recognizes the roles families play in addiction…and recovery. Let’s learn more about family roles in addiction.

The 6 Family Roles in Drug or Alcohol Addiction

There is a lot of debate on what family roles in addiction exactly are, but most researchers use the examples provided by Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse, an author and therapist. During the 1970s, she became interested in involving families in addiction treatment, studying the effects addiction had on families.

In 1981, she published a book, Another Chance: Hope and Health for the Alcoholic Family. This book outlines six distinct roles family members often assume when a family member struggles with addiction:

  • The Dependent (The addicted person)
  • The Enabler (Spouse)
  • The Hero (Oldest child)
  • The Scapegoat (The second child)
  • The Lost Child (The third child)
  • The Mascot (The fourth child)

Now, before we continue, we’d like to say that there is a lot of debate over these particular roles, and it’s very possible that your experience (or the experience of someone you know) may be extremely different from what Wegscheider-Cruse wrote about. Plus, many families are structured differently from the example given above.

It’s better to think of this blog as less of a description of what WILL happen to families, and more of an example of the effects addiction has on a family. That said, let’s look at these roles in greater detail.

Family Roles in Addiction: The Dependent

This role is usually called “the addict,” but that’s a word we’re not fond of at Cliffside Malibu. We try not to define people by their illnesses, and it’s kind of a nasty label. Worst of all, to us, “addict” implies that someone can’t change or recover, which we know isn’t true: 96% of our patients say they’re better people after their treatment at Cliffside*.

That said, the addicted person is the centerpiece of this story. The family world revolves around them in reaction to their disease. They display dependent behaviors during their addiction, intense mood swings, and even act negatively towards their family through manipulation, placing blame ,and dishonesty.

It’s these behaviors that often force other family members into other roles.

Family Roles in Addiction: The Enabler

The enabler sounds like the “bad guy” of this story, but they’re not – they’re simply trying to hold things together the best way they know how. By doing things and making excuses for the dependent person, they’re trying to keep perceived secrets and sources of shame private, believing this will keep the family together and seen as normal and happy by the rest of the world.

Unfortunately, despite their best intentions, enablers often make addiction worse. By justifying (and sometimes supporting) the behavior of the dependent family member, the enabler supports their harmful and dangerous behavior. This only drives the dependent further into addiction.

Family Roles in Addiction: The Hero

This role isn’t exactly the traditional hero you may be thinking of. Instead, they’re the family member who reacts to the dependent by pushing themselves to succeed. The hero reacts to the chaos that addiction causes by being the best example. They’re often perfectionists, too.

Here’s where the hero falls short: their actions, however laudable, do nothing to help the dependent person. Instead, their drive for success may only create exhaustion, causing them to feel intense stress, which in turn runs the risk of experiencing burnout.

Needless to say, stress and burnout are often major drivers of addiction.

Worst of all, to us, “addict” implies that someone can’t change or recover, which we know isn’t true: 96% of our patients say they’re better people after their treatment at Cliffside*.

Family Roles in Addiction: The Scapegoat

The scapegoat, unfortunately, has the hardest – and most damaging – role to play. They often get blamed for the issues facing the family instead of the dependent family member. Often, the scapegoat takes on this role themselves, feeling like the family needs an outlet for blame.

They do this by acting out, trying to take attention away from the dependent family member and placing negative attention on themselves. Naturally, this has a devastating emotional effect. The scapegoat often feels intense shame and guilt…which in turn can lead to substance use and addiction.

Family Roles in Addiction: The Lost Child

The lost child reacts to the problem facing the family by basically staying out of the way. They almost never mention addition or recovery and keep their heads down, trying to avoid conflict at every turn.

While understandable, this role can create massive problems, particularly if it involves an actual child. By avoiding conflict, they also miss out on attention. In turn, this can make the lost child feel neglected and invisible. If the lost child happens to BE a child, this can make them question their own value and even cause problems finding meaningful relationships later in life.

Family Roles in Addiction: The Mascot

Humor has always been a coping mechanism for many, and that’s especially true for the mascot. The mascot uses humor as armor, helping to deal with unpleasant thoughts and emotions. The mascot also tries to help other family members by trying to distract them from the ongoing situation.

While this can be helpful in certain situations, it ultimately doesn’t do much to help the dependent family member. Also, other family members can simply dismiss the mascot as being silly or immature, which can be painful for the mascot, as they tend to be fairly sensitive.

5 Positive Family Roles in Addiction

Not all family roles in addiction are negative, however. There are positive roles family members play that actually give real support to the person struggling with addiction. Here’s how they work:

  • The Supporter: The supporter offers the dependent family member the support they need while holding them accountable for their behaviors and actions. Support givers often take an active role in their family member’s recovery. Supporters can also play a role in assisting with the dependent’s needs and encourage them to find help for addiction.
  • The Student: The student learns about addiction, addiction treatment and recovery, giving them valuable insights into their family member’s struggles.
  • The Boundary Keeper: The boundary keeper sets healthy boundaries in recovery. They realize that healthy boundaries protect the rest of the family and help the dependent family member realize they’re responsible for their own actions.
  • The Facilitator: The facilitator provides the family struggling with addiction with clear lines of communication. This helps create trust which is the best foundation for recovery there is.
  • The Role Model: This sounds a lot like the hero. But the role model’s a little different. Instead of succeeding as a way to deflect negative attention from the family, the role model can show the dependent family member that there’s a better way through positive coping mechanisms, self-care and more.

Addiction can be one of the most difficult situations a family can face. But by avoiding defensive behaviors that force them into negative roles, family members can be real advocates for the family member who’s struggling, leading them to a happier, healthier life.

Explore the Family Program at Cliffside Malibu Today

With over 20 years of successfully treating substance use disorders, Cliffside Malibu truly understands that addiction is a family disease. Our family program helps families heal along with their loved ones struggling with addiction.

Using the unique Stages of Change model, we’re able to guide your loved one’s progress every step of the way as they work through our program. It helps us meet your loved one’s needs when and where they require them the most.

Recovery helps mend family relationships by making them stronger than ever. Freedom from addiction is possible. Reach out to Cliffside Malibu today to learn more about our family program.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why is Addiction a Family Disease?

Addiction is a powerful yet treatable disease that affects everyone around the person struggling with substance use disorder, especially family members who are worried about their loved one’s health and decisions.

What Are Family Roles in Addiction?

The stress and other issues that substance use disorder can cause often make family members adopt certain roles. These roles can be helpful, but they often aren’t.

Can Families Recover from Addiction?

Yes. Our family program at Cliffside Malibu helps repair and strengthen relationships damaged by the stress of addiction.

*Percentage includes adult patients who admitted to a substance use disorder treatment program under Cliffside Malibu in 2023 (between 1/1/23 and 6/30/23) and completed the Recovery Assessment Scale (RAS, N=207). As patients who admitted to treatment presented with addiction as their primary mental illness, “addiction” here also refers to “mental illness experience” as written in the RAS.