August 25, 2014

A Summer BBQ

summer-bbqMy family is pretty normal. My father works hard in management at a Fortune 500 company and my mother is an elementary school teacher. I have a brother and two sisters, none of whom are drug addicts like me.

I started using drugs when I was seventeen. I was raped by the father of one of my friends when I visited their house for a summer BBQ. I was ashamed of what happened and didn’t tell my parents for more than two years because I didn’t want them to see me as dirty or cheapened, the way I felt about myself. I was also more than a little afraid that my father might shoot the man who raped me and I didn’t want him to go to prison for doing what I believe would have been the right thing. I only told them what happened after the man was killed in a freak accident; he got hit by a train. But by that point, I was already a drug addict.

I started using drugs innocently enough. I had a tooth that was crowding the others pulled. The dentist gave me a painkiller and well, you know the rest. The pills killed the pain in my jaw, and also numbed the pain in my soul. I used more and more of the pills until I couldn’t get them legally anymore. That’s when I switched to heroin. I wasn’t on heroin long before my father barged in on me while I was smoking in my room. He’d never come in unannounced so I didn’t bother to lock the door, but he said he could smell it. I broke down and told him everything. I love my dad. I couldn’t see the disappointment on his face and lie to him. I told him that I had been raped and that I felt like a dirty tramp and I used heroin so I didn’t have to feel anything. He took me in his arms and held me and we both cried.

My father’s company, thank heavens, provides us with good insurance. I was able to go to Cliffside for three months. While I was there, not only did I work through my addiction, but my therapist helped me apply to college. I graduated from a great school last year and am still clean and sober. Next month, I start a job with a great company an hour’s drive from my parents. But first, we’re all taking a family vacation to Mexico!

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